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Mute by Mouth!

Keeping our own counsel, in all aspects of our lives, is truly invaluable. As all our amazing “queens” (drag or otherwise!) would have you know, our late, departed, beloved Majesty herself included, (God rest her soul), the way to conduct ourselves at all times, is to never explain and never complain about anything!

Over-talkers seem to be everywhere, but saying less really does get you more. The unfortunate thing is that we live in a world that doesn’t just encourage over-talking, but practically demands it, where success is measured by how much attention we can attract: getting a million Twitter followers, for example, becoming an Instagram influencer or making a viral video. We are inundated with YouTube, social media, chat apps and streaming services. I can’t believe I’m even able to list all that, given the technophobic dinosaur that I am!

Apparently, recent research has highlighted that talkativeness is actually linked to brain-wave imbalances, specifically, activity between the left and right lobes in the anterior and pre-frontal lobes of the brain.

Ideally, the two lobes should have equal levels of neural activity when a person is at rest. Any asymmetry and you’re likely to be either more shy or more talkative….and the greater the imbalance……the further out one is on the talkative spectrum. Results have also shown a link with aggression and the right-dominant lack of impulse control, all leading to why it may be so hard for some people to zip it when necessary, leading to blurting out some of the most inappropriate or unhelpful things on occasion.

If you can’t afford a speech coach to help limit your foot-in-the-mouth tendencies, here’s a list of tips that could assist in reducing the over-talking syndrome:

  1. When possible, simply say nothing. Take the view that words equate to money, so spend them wisely. I’ll resort to one of my favourite analogies: be Dirty Harry, not Prince Harry!

 

  1. Master the power of the pause. Take a breath, wait and give the other person time to process what you’ve said.

 

  1. Quit social media! Yes, you read that correctly! The first cousin of over-talking is over-tweeting. If you can’t quit completely, at least give it a rest from time to time.

 

  1. Seek out silence. Detach, unplug and give your brain a well-earned rest. You’ll then find your natural, God-given, innate creative abilities kick-start into super-charged action.

 

  1. Learn to listen. Instead of just hearing someone, practise active listening. Pay fierce attention to what the other person is saying. You’ll find this may actually hurt, if you’re doing it properly!

 

Have fun in this inner world and enjoy your newly found gift of the sound of silence.

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