Forgiveness, Hope & Compassion
After yet another successful conference for my colleagues and I at MIP (The Manchester Institute for Psychotherapy), how we go about retelling our stories so they no longer give us cause to feel pain, I feel is a must for all to share!
In times of trouble (……as in The Beatles ‘Let it Be’) and any undue pressure, our demons always come back to pay us a visit – it’s their cue to return when we’re down and feeling vulnerable, so accepting this is a huge first step in recognising that we’re not alone.
When feeling out of sync or balance, we start to ruminate over past wrongs, or obsessing over people and events that have caused us unhappiness – out of alignment, we need to find a way to get back on track. Feeling resentful or angry, simply acknowledge these thoughts you’re having and realise you’ve started telling yourself the same old story again. Instead of judging yourself for having these thoughts and feelings, simply observe them and do your best to stay grounded. Note how you’re feeling, emotionally and physically – recognise these feelings cannot, and will not, last forever.
Forgive yourself for having that thought, yet again. Forgive yourself for getting hooked back in and the guilt you may be feeling for being stuck in that cycle of thinking, and all the emotional upheaval you’re experiencing, attached to what happened back then. It’s all behind you now.
Then, decide to choose again – we can always make a new choice, so reach out for a better feeling thought. Simply take the next best feeling you can find available in that moment and pull it toward you. For example, if you’re feeling angry, the next best emotion, obviously, won’t be joy – it might only be mild irritation, so go for that instead and see where it takes you. Step by step, you’ll find the strength of the negative feelings diminishing.
As you follow these steps regularly, you’ll find yourself in a new space, primed to see things differently, developing an ability to choose your responses with greater ease. You’ll find yourself no longer simply reacting, at the mercy of all those unwanted mental and emotional visitors, but steadily working towards discovering and reclaiming your own personal power.
With dedicated practice, eventually you’ll be amazed at the unleashing of a true, super-hero from within! As Bob Cooke, Director of MIP, is always telling us, remember, it’s a process, not an event!!