Stuck in a rut?
We’re slap bang in the middle of the summer holidays and how are we feeling? Groundhog days ahead, looking for ways to entertain the kids, or living full and exciting times, day after day? I do hope it’s the latter…….
I came across a brilliant definition of a “rut” many moons ago: “The difference between a rut and a grave is just a few inches!” If I was stuck in anything, it was what this statement did to me and how I’ve chosen to live my life ever since! No way was I going to go anywhere near any rut because never was I more convinced of anything being the 100% truth!
It’s not that people around us are all living in desperation, but they’re certainly not content either. They may feel as though they’re trapped in a life of other people’s choices, not having ended up where they hoped they would be. They may not have the relationship with their family that they wanted. They may not be in the marriage they had dreamed of. Their jobs may feel mundane. Life is now run of the mill, with time running away with itself. Feeling imprisoned, with no way forward……I wonder if any of this resonates??
One of the most profound truths, that usually comes with age, is the recognition that it’s not death that we fear the most…..it’s actually the fear of being born, living our lives, growing old and dying with none of what we have become, done, or acquired, making a blind bit of difference! It’s the feeling of insignificance that people are kicking against as time marches on. The desire for an epitaph that says, “I was here” is why my favourite movie of all time is “It’s a Wonderful Life” – for anyone who says this film does nothing for/to them, I really do feel so very sad – the gift of life is just that: a gift, that we must treasure, however we may have entered into this crazy world: to enjoy each and every day, as a way of saying, “thank you” for the chance to make a difference, however small.
It’s an extraordinary fact that when a tiny flea is caught and placed in a jar with the lid on, this flea will jump, again and again, bashing its head on the inside of the lid for several days. Any flea is capable of jumping much higher than the height of a jar but, eventually, it adapts its behaviour to jumping to just below the lid. From this point on, it always jumps short of the lid. The strange thing is that even when the lid is removed, it still carries on jumping to this height, never attempting to jump out of the jar. Its behaviour is now set for all time, with the creation of this imaginary lid, because of its decision to no longer bother breaking through it. This is it now, for the rest of its life, and not only that, its offspring will have been taught to do this same!! …….and so, it goes on, generation after miserable generation……. this non-existent lid becoming the defining factor in their lives, with this same story controlling their future!! Now, that’s what I call a rut, with a capital R!!
Play with the kids, even when they drive you mad, hold that vicious tongue when all you want to do is let rip at someone who irritates the hell out of you, breathe deeply and recognise that it’s usually always better to be kind in any situation than it is to be right all the time. Give people a chance to find out for themselves who they want to be. Get your own limiting beliefs out of both your and their way and have fun over the hols – lift your head up out of that rut to realise that there’s no lid and no-one waiting to shoot you, either!