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It’s HABIT that keeps you going
Our lives are based on self-worth. It affects the type of relationships we engage in, the opportunities we take and how we go about solving our problems. Most people, however, confuse self-worth with achievement, where they continually demonstrate their worthiness by outward validation or reaching some self-made definition of success.
The reality, though, is much simpler: you are already a worthy person without conditions, just by being. What you do, what you accomplish and how peop
le see you, are not what determine your inherent value or worth. Certain habits, however, can help us recognise and reinforce this fundamental truth, with the following three practices highlighting the power of good habits:
- Keeping promises, especially to ourselves
- Having realistic daily expectations that give rise to an actual sense of accomplishment, as opposed to setting huge goals that simply won’t be fulfilled
- Celebrating ourselves for minor achievements, rather than only recognising the big ones, because we know progress is a series of baby/mini steps
- Recognising our personal strengths before we search for external validation, because self-recognition is just as important as that of other people
- Doing the tough things regularly
- Preferring to stay with the discomfort while growing, rather than being comfortable while stagnating
- Accepting certain things are beyond our control, proving that we are actually resilient by acknowledging this choice
- Sticking with it, even when the motivation dies
- Showing ourselves that we can be depended upon, even when the going gets tough
- Boosting our own self-worth by showing ourselves, as often as possible, that we are capable and worthy of respect
- Consistently showing up for ourselves
- Being as serious about our own personal appointments as we are about our professional ones
- Putting in the same level of commitment in the relationship we have with ourselves as we would put into any other relationship we truly value
- Ensuring our psychological and emotional health remains a priority, serving as a golden thread, guiding us through our day
The paradox of self-worth, unfortunately, is that we spend so much energy wanting to earn something that we were all already born with. From childhood, many of us may internalise the belief that worthiness must be proven through grades, achievements, appearance or the approval of others. We chase validation as if it’s this all-important, missing piece of a jigsaw, that will finally make us whole or complete. The radical truth is that anyone possessing a high sense of self-worth will not be working at becoming “worthy” – they simply stop pretending that they’re not!
With these three practices, we can break the illusion that we were ever in doubt of our worth. Every word that we keep, every difficult task that we get done and every moment we show up for ourselves, is an act of remembering what we already are, and not what we are becoming, in terms of our worth.
Remember, we are all worthy of our own love and respect as human beings (not human doings!), so let’s just get on with it, shall we? Living life and enjoying it, no matter what it decides to throw at us!